


I’d Rather Go Blind

by TaosPandaEyes



Category: ATEEZ
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, I hope.., Make up sex, Seonghwa to the rescue, Yunho is your ex boyfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21904372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaosPandaEyes/pseuds/TaosPandaEyes
Summary: Based off lyrics of 'I’d Rather Go Blind' by Etta James.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

‘ _Something told me it was over, when I saw you and her talking.’_

It had been 3 weeks since you and Yunho broke up. Three weeks since you ended your one year relationship. Three weeks since you said goodbye to the one man you loved. To say you were hurt would be an understatement, you cried almost every night, used alcohol to try to numb the pain, but then would regret all your decisions in the morning. But there was one thing you could never do.. You could never 'cheat' on Yunho. Or what was in your eyes classified as 'cheating' as you haven’t yet let your heart go away with the man you kept so close for a year even if he already let his slip away. Truth be told, you were still in love with him, still wanted him to be with you at night cuddling so close to you so that all the pain would go away. Still wanted him to lightly kiss your forehead like he did every morning before you left for your 8am textile classes. You couldn’t own up to the fact that he was gone and would never come back. You'd tell your friends things like 'Oh we’re just on a break’ or 'We’re just not on speaking terms at the moment'. All the while just lying to your self so that the sting would pain you a little less than it already did. 

Your relationship ended bad, really bad. You and Yunho had got into an argument after you both had gotten home from a random ass fraternity you didn’t know the name of. Yunho had been glaring at you the whole 30 mins you were there. You didn’t know exactly why, at least not until you got home. 

As soon as the door was slammed shut, Yunho had started yelling. You hated when people yelled, it always made you feel so little and upset. Yunho of course knew this and he never yelled at you, but this night he didn’t seem to care.

"I saw the way you were looking at Seonghwa, you think I wouldn’t notice? One of my best friends? I should have listened to everyone when they said you were a no good slut." You were baffled when he uttered this, it had to be the alcohol talking right? You could do nothing but cower in fear, too scared to even speak up. You were as sober as sober could be because someone needed to drive home. Maybe too sober to be hearing all of this. 

"You know I’d never do anything to hurt you Yunho, especially not do anything with one of your best friends are you kidding me?" You had replied back in a voice so small you’re still not even sure he heard. 

“Well if you wouldn’t then why were you practically eye fucking him right in front of me, hmm? Look at me when I’m fucking talking to you." Yunho spat as he yanked your jaw up so that you could look into his eyes. You shook with fear, not knowing what the outcome would be of this sudden gesture. Yunho never put his hands on you like this, Yunho would never even hurt a fly. If you could, you somehow cowered in fear once again as Yunhos’ 6 foot stature loomed over you. 

“I-I, Yunho there’s nothing going on between Seonghwa and I, and you of all people should know that.” You replied, almost in tears at that point. Yunho then sighed and roughly let your jaw go. 

“I don’t even know why I bother with you. We’re over, I should’ve never started dating you in the first fucking place." Yunho muttered as he walked away from your almost limp body, truly you didn’t know how your knees didn’t buckle within that moment. You just stayed there, defeated as Yunho walked out the door, never to be heard from again. 

That was until now... 

The memories of that night flooded through your mind as you saw your first love who ended everything with you just only three weeks ago waltz through the hallways of your university. A girl who stood roughly 5 foot 8, with dyed bleached hair conjoined to his hip. You teared up right in the moment as each scene of that forsaken night that took place just three weeks ago plasted each corner of your mind. As they walk past you, you heard one of his friends who you personally knew as Mingi say loudly under his breath. "Hey, isn’t that Y/N?" Yunho had looked back at you for a split second but quickly turned away to lightly hit his friend on his shoulder. "Dude shut up." He said as he forced a laugh. 

Your heart broke into a million tiny little pieces for the nth time since you had ended the relationship. You immediately ran out of the hallways as tears threatened to fall. 

It wasn’t quite over for you just yet, but when you saw him and that girl together you just knew that he had already slipped through your grasp.


	2. Possible New Beginnings

You felt like a tidal wave had hit you at full force and knocked all emotion out of you. Since your little run in with Yunho, you hadn’t entirely been yourself. You’d skip class in hopes of not seeing any of Yunhos so-called ‘friends’ faces, spent countless nights thinking about different ways that night could have gone. Thinking it was your fault, but then realizing the blame was none of your own. In the end you blamed yourself anyway because if you just hadn’t stared a little too long then maybe you’d still have the only man you ever loved by your side, maybe you’d still have something to be happy for or better yet— someone to be happy with. 

You tried to forget about everything. Everyone has their own vices, but you somehow entirely changed in a short amount of time. Although you were somewhat antisocial you started to go to every party you overheard other people talking about. Every party you’d get shitfaced drunk just to forget, even if it was just for a second about everything that you and Yunho had ever done together. Every little date, every cuddle session, every time you laughed at Yunho's dumb jokes, every smile you ever bared just thinking of him... Truthfully you hated alcohol, hated the way it smelled, tasted, and mostly hated the way it made people act. But the thing you hated and feared most was to become like those people. But now it was just a little to late to care about your sobriety. 

You decided to go to a party alone this time, your friend wouldn’t come with you because she wanted to study up for an upcoming exam. You usually never went alone to things like this, but at this point you didn’t care anymore about what the outcome would be. You needed your fix, and this is how you got it. Siphoning free alcohol off of twenty year old drunks because you were too prideful to buy your own drinks. This night in particular you wanted to drink until you passed out, this was the night that Yunho had given you a promise ring. The night he got on his knee and spoke for the bottom of his heart about how nothing could ever separate the two of you, his promise to you to never leave your side no matter the circumstances. A promise he had broken. 

This night you vowed to yourself to forget about him, not giving a damn what would happen tonight. You’d be lying if you said that deep down you didn’t feel bad about everything you’ve done up until this moment, but it wasn’t the time to be guilty. You were already there stood at the foot of the stairs that lead up the porch of a single family home that looked to be 80 years old but of course remodeled. Girls got in free that night so you were allowed to just walk right through the door without a care in the world, going straight to where the drinks were displayed. A guy you didn’t care to identify at to your right whistled as you downed the red solo cup without a pause. You didn’t come to play any games tonight and you wanted everyone to know that. So you downed two— maybe three more, not knowing as you’ve already lost count. You could already feel the buzz coming on, you swayed your hips to the obnoxious pop song playing in the back almost stumbling as you could barely support your weight upwards. You took another cup in your hand and started to drink it but you lost your balance. Right before you could even fall you felt a hand wrap around your waist to hold you.

"You okay babe?" said an unknown voice. You knew no one in this fraternity so you immediately tried to get away as best as your drunken body would let you. 

"Y-Yeah, I-I’m f-f-fine, t-totally fine." You muttered, well slurred, to the man not even bothering to look his way as you tried to shoo his hand away from your waist. His grip only tightened when he felt your hand on his. The grip awoken some little sobriety you had left. You looked up at him with widen, dilated eyes. 

"Hey why don’t you and I get out of here, you know away from all of these people?" He said to you with a stern tone underlining his voice. You froze, but being the stubborn girl you were you didn’t let up easily. 

"I s-said I-I’m f-fine!" You almost yelled in that moment and tried with all your might to get away but he just wouldn't let you go. Your hands worked frantically at your waist as you tried hard to free yourself. 

"I really think we should go, now." He whispered to only you as he started to practically drag you to the front door. 

"I think she really doesn’t want to go with you man." You looked up as you heard a familiar voice, Park Seonghwa. Your eyes widen as he managed to pry the still unknown dudes hands off your waist. He pulled you by his side not letting go of your hand. 

"Let’s go Y/N, now." You tried to protest as you kind of wanted to stay, to finish the task at hand. You opened your mouth to say something but, 

"Don’t you dare try to protest at all, we are leaving and that’s final. I refuse to let you keep ruining yourself like this." Seonghwa said loud enough for you to hear. You swore you could hear a hint of hurt in those words. 

"Come on." He said quietly as he held your hand and walked out the door, you still trailing not far behind. You couldn’t even mutter a peep, guilt flushing over you like goosebumps as you realized the change of the air as you were already outside. 

"I’ll give you a ride home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so at first I was just going to make this a three parter so that the angst would hurt my heart so much lol but now I kind of fell the need to drag it out more and maybe introduce more characters, pls let me know what you think.


	3. Reunited and It Feels So Terrible

Seonghwa helped you to his car, lightly tugging your arm on the way. You kept your head down with every step, guilt rushing over you at immense speeds. You never wanted to admit that you were damaging yourself by self medicating, but life had come at you hard this night and it made you realize just the true toxicity that you allowed yourself to dwell into. You felt a sudden acidic taste coat your mouth. You instantly cringed. As if this night couldn’t get any worse…

You stopped in your tracks already feeling the need to regurgitate all of the alcohol that pooled within your stomach. You immediately pulled your arm away from Seonghwas’ grasp and ran just a few feet away from him before emptying the contents that invaded your mouth onto the bed of grass that you stood upon. You grimaced as the acidic taste once again flooded your tastebuds. You brought your hand up to your face to wipe your mouth out of instinct, but before you could even reach your lips you felt your hand being yanked away. 

“Uhn Uhn.” Seonghwa chastised as he looked at you with a pity expression plastered on his face. “I have wet wipes in the car.. Plus that’s gross.” He ended his statement with a light chuckle as he helped you walk towards his car again, this time with extra care given what had just happened. Seonghwa opened the passenger door for you and helped you sit down before buckling your seatbelt and closing the door. He waltzed over to the drivers side with a bit of urgency and got in. After shutting his door, he opened his glove compartment that was between the two front seats and he got out the wet wipes that he mentioned earlier. Seonghwa pulled out one and grabbed your jaw lightly after discarding the package back to its place in the glove compartment. He moved your face to face his and he looked into your eyes. With the guilt already coursing through your mind, you couldn’t bring yourself to even look back into his, straying your gaze to your lap. 

“I feel like I'm caring for a five year old.” Seonghwa sighs before whipping the vomit off the corners of your mouth. He then rolls down his window and throws the wipe out of it, not giving a shit about whose lawn it was going to land up on or who has the unfortunate luxury of cleaning it up. He rolls the window back up, then he turns to you with a question on his tongue. Before hesitating for too long, he decided to just speak up. 

“I think you should stay the night at my place, yeah? Just so that I can make sure you’re taken care of.” You’ve been to his house before, hell you’ve even stayed over there a few nights. So what’s the harm in staying again tonight? You slowly nod not even thinking twice as you realized that you were too tipsy still to take of yourself if he were to just drop you off at home. At least you’d get something beneficial out of this. 

Seonghwa made a noise acknowledging your nod before starting the car and heading to his house. 

~~~ 

The ride to his house felt longer than it should have. Maybe it was the effects of the alcohol or maybe it was just the guilt that was still parading your mind. But eventually you did get there. Seonghwa being the caring soul he is, helped you each step off the way on the walk to his apartment door. Fiddling with his keys in a bit of a hurry as he noticed what you were wearing. A little black dress with spaghetti straps that came to your mid thigh. Seonghwa could only think of how cold you must be. Finally finding the keys to the door, he opened it with a sigh. He walked in before you and let you, closing and locking the door behind you. You both took your shoes off at the same time and sat them by each other near the foot of the door.

“Go sit on the couch, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Seonghwa said as he walked out of the living into the directing of the bathroom if you remembered correctly from your fading knowledge of the nights you’ve spent here. You made your way over to the couch slowly since your body was still in a state of drunkenness. You sat on the couch and played with the zipper on your purse not really knowing what to do as you waited for Seonghwa to return. 

Not even five minutes later, Seonghwa returns with a small trash can in one hand, and mouthwash and a water bottle in the other. He sits next to you after seating the trashcan down next to your feet. He opens the bottle of mouthwash then pours some into the cap of it. 

“Here.” He says before placing the cup in your hand. You take the cup and put it against your lips before sipping its contents. You swish the liquid around your mouth for a minute straight before spitting it into the can near your feet. Seonghwa then gives you the bottle he already opened and you do the same with the water. 

“You should drink the rest of that. You know, to help your stomach and all.” He states before looking at you. You slowly drink the water slowly, not wanting to upset your stomach any further. Once you finished, Seonghwa spoke up again. 

“You can take the bed, I’m totally fine with sleeping on the couch.” You nod in agreement, getting too tired to protest anything right now. “And you have to take a shower too, you kinda smell like sweat with a hint of college students drinking their will to live away, oh and of course vomit too.” You glare at him for a split second before pouting. 

“Okay.” You replay softly. 

“You can wear one of my shirts to bed. I’ll bring you that and a towel and a washcloth.” Seonghwa says before picking up the trashcan and leaving the room again. He comes back ten minutes later with everything before speaking again. 

“Down the hall to the right, but I’m sure you remember that.” He says before smiling. He walks out of the room again in the direction of what you assume is the kitchen, but right now youre still too drunk to even remember anything from your previous visits. You make your way towards the bathroom, you were about to take the longest shower in your life.  
~~~

After what seemed like two hours of you trying to scrub the remnants of the night's events out of your mind and off your body, you finally got out of the shower. You put the shirt that Seonghwa gave you on. It landed past your knees making you feel smaller than you already were. Yo sprayed on some of Seonghwas spray on deodorant, knowing that he wouldn’t mind if you used some. You slipped on the pair of boxers that he also lended you and felt a little weird. Last time you wore a man's clothes to bed was when you were still with Yunho. You shook your head as you felt all kinds of emotions crowd your mind. You weren’t gonna let the thought of him ruin your sleep. 

You walked out of the bathroom and headed to Seonghwas room, not caring to check if he was still awake or not. You opened the door and closed it behind you. You set your dirty clothes next to where Seonghwa had placed your purse on the bed. You climbed into the bed and pulled the covers onto your body. After tossing and turning for 30 minutes, you finally fell asleep. 

~~~ 

The sound of birds chirping awakens you from your slumber. As you open your eyes, you immediately feel a rush of pain go directly to your forehead. You groan before sitting up. A yawn escapes your lips while you take in your surroundings. The events that had taken place last night now flood your mind. You groan once more when you realize how much of a fool you must have looked to Seonghwa with all of the things you’ve done in a span of two short hours. That oh so familiar pang of guilt flushes over you once again. How could you be so stupid and act out that way? And all while trying to get over an ex… You were a fool. 

You lift the covers off of your now well rested body and climb out of the offered bed. You then noticed the dryness of your throat while your feet lead you to water to quench your new found thirst. Maybe you’d have Seonghwa give you some aspirin for your headache as well. Your feet lead you to the kitchen where you met the aforementioned man. 

“How’d you sleep?” Seonghwa says while he holds a cup of what you assume is coffee in his hand. He takes a sip of it before handing you two pills. “It’s Tylenol. It’ll help with the headache.” 

“Thank you.” You mutter under your breath before walking to the cupboard and getting a glass. You fill it with tap water not entirely caring because you just wanted the headache to go away. Seonghwa watches you as you place the pills in your mouth and sip some of the water from the glass before swallowing. 

“I made some chicken noodle soup. It always helps me whenever I have a hangover, so I hope it can help you as well.” He says before standing. “Here sit, I’ll get you a bowl.” He walks pasts you to get to the stove. You walk over to the seat that Seonghwa was sat in and take his place.  
After he finishes heating up the soup, he puts some into a bowl and sets it down in front of you before getting you a spoon to eat with.

“I’ll be on the couch watching tv. Holler if you need anything.” He states then walks out of the kitchen. You began eating the soup making sure you take small bites. 

~~ 

Seonghwa sits on the couch. The tv is on but he’s not quite watching it. He peers up at the door as the lock unhinges. Mingi must be coming home finally, it's only been two days since they’ve seen each other. Once the door opens he notices that Mingi is not alone. His face goes pale as he sees who’s with him. 

“Dude you must have gotten laid because I don’t remember you owning a pair of red stilettos.” Mingi says after he closes the door behind him and Yunho. He sets his shoes next to the heels and Yunho sets his down next to Mingis. Seonghwa scoffs at Mingis' smart statement. 

“Would it kill you to say ‘Hi’? I haven’t seen you in, I don’t know, two full days?” Seonghwa laces his reply with a bit of sarcasm. 

“Aww did you miss me that much?” Mingi says while reaching out to pinch his cheek. Seonghwa moves back away from his hand before shaking his head negatively. Mingi pouts. He starts to protest, but before he can the taller man of the bunch speaks up. 

“I’m famished and I hope y’all actually have some food in this house.” He says while dramatically rubbing his stomach in a circular motion.

“Of course we have food now, come on let's go get something to eat.” Mingi chimes in before Seonghwa can try to stop them from going to the kitchen. He truds urgently behind them. 

Yunho is the first to enter the kitchen and his eyes immediately land on you. You’re turned away from the entrance, so you don’t even notice his presence. Once again before Seonghwa can utter one word, he gets interrupted again. 

“What the fuck is _she _doing her?” Yunho spats in your direction. You freeze from eating your soup. The spoon in your hand drops into the bowl. You knew this day would come, but deep down you hoped it wouldn’t come so soon.__

__“Well this is _my _house and I’m allowed to have and invite _whoever the fuck _I want to over.” Seonghwa spats back in his direction, but even with his harsh words Yunho still did not take his eyes off of you. His eyes traveled all over your body. He made note of your clothing, or lack thereof. You were still in Seonghwas’ shirt and boxers, although the shirt was too oversized for them to be seen. Yunho became infuriated. He knew it, of course you were cheating on him with his best friend. He knew it all along. He turned to Seonghwa before saying,_____ _

______“Did you fuck my ex? How could you? We’ve been friends since middle school.” Yunho spats in his face before continuing. “Now this _slut _,” He gestures towards you not regarding your feelings one bit. “I knew she was cheating on me. I just wish that it wasn’t with you.”___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Hey dude what the-” Mingi tries to get out before being interrupted by Seonghwa._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Really Yunho? You’ve have got to be fucking kidding me right now. I’d never do that to you and Y/N wouldn’t either and you fucking know that. You’ve got this poor girl over here ruining her fucking life over you because your dumbass is gullible enough to believe baseless rumors.” Seonghwa spats back at Yunho before getting up in his face. Mingi puts his hand between them in hopes of trying to get them to not fight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“If you didn’t fuck her, then why is she wearing your shirt, hmm?” Yunho challenges._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Because she got shitfaced drunk last night and was on the verge of getting _molested _by some lowlife fuck from _your _fraternity.” Seonghwa challenges right back at Yunho. “And I _decided _to be a decent enough person and offered to take her home. That was the initial plan before she puked all over the lawn though..” Seonghwa trailed off. “Anyways I decided it was best just to bring her back here so that she’d have someone to actually care for her and that’s why she’s in _my _clothes, you pompous fuck.”_________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Deep breaths were taken as the air in the room seemed to shift. You never moved from your spot as you tried to process and take in all that was happening. You let out a shaky breath as you turned towards the boys._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Y/N, I-I I’m sorry I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t know what came over me.” Yunho says as he turns in the direction you're seated. He tries to reach out and touch your hand, but you just shy away. Afraid of what his true intentions would be behind the touch as the way he grabbed you the night you two broke up floods your mind._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“S-Seonghwa please take me home…” You say as tears fall from your eyes. You didn’t dare look up as you walked past all three of them and out of the kitchen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________You never wanted to be reunited like this….._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this chapter, if you do pls leave feedback that would be well appreciated :) This chapter was very Angsty but it gets better as time goes on.


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